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justice without a god

struggle without a reward

Teru Mikami (AU)
External Services:
  • godlessjustice@livejournal.com

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Name: Teru Mikami
Age: 28
Canon/AU: AU
Job: Prosecutor
Likes: Order
Dislikes: Chaos

Teru was raised by his mother, a single parent who oftentimes was too busy to talk to her son and teach him the important things. Left on his own, he studied the world and developed his own moral code, one in which there was 'good' and 'evil' with no room for grey in between. One could change from one to the other, with work, but there was no room in between.

At elementary school, he was always class president, and he did his best to make sure all the students were 'good' and that justice prevailed in the classroom. He protected people from bullies, even when he got hurt in the proccess, for the sake of hearing the gratitude in the victim's voice when they thanked him. And sometimes he even managed to succeed in his goal of making everyone good, except for a few that he could not change. At the time, he dismissed those few as being an oddity, and continued to believe that there was good in everyone.

This changed in junior high. There, suddenly, he discovered that injustice was far more common than justice, and far easier to teach. Those who were neutral towards Teru were swayed by the bullies into hurting Teru as well, and he became the laughingstock and punching bag for most of the school. He and the other victims had no way out as long as the bullies had the school under control.

It would be better if the bullies were gone, he decided. Gone entirely.

He told his mother his thoughts, expecting her to symphathize, but instead, she denounced his ideas. She pointed out that the entire world couldn't change to suit his beliefs, and told him to stop. However, Teru rejected these ideas, and in his mind, his mother changed from 'good' to 'evil'. After all, there was no room for grey, and someone who didn't believe in justice surely couldn't be 'good' any more. He began to ignore his mother entirely.

And, a few weeks later, his justice was proven. The four main bullies from school went joyriding one day, and ended up driving onto the sidewalk, injuring several people before crashing into the wall and killing themselves. One of the people who had been injured ended up dying. It was Teru's mother.

For a while after it happened, Teru was simply overwhelmed with grief. He spent several hours just sobbing. However, slowly his mind cleared, and he realized this had been what he wanted. After all, his mother had been unjust - therefore, didn't she deserve the punishment she had recieved? And, of course, the bullies being eliminated was a clear benefit for the entire school. Now the school could live in peace, and he could begin swaying his classmates to good. And indeed, after he returned to school (having been placed in foster care), he found it to be a much more peaceful environment.

The night of his mother's death, Teru sent up a prayer of thanks to God.

He continued on his path through high school and college, trying to make others understand justice the way he did and wishing for their elimination when they refused to change. And, several times, his wishes became reality. In the end, nine people were killed when Teru wanted them to be. Each time, he felt a shiver of fear, but he managed to calm himself each time. After all, surely this was God's work. This was God's punishment for evil. God shared Mikami's views. And even if it was just chance, that didn't matter - it was still righteous.

However, not everyone who committed evil deeds was punished this way, of course. Some escaped judgement. And so, in order to supplement justice and remove evil from the world, Teru went into law and became a prosecutor. After all, the entire purpose of prosecution was to see justice dealt. Luckily, with Teru's excellent grades and sense of justice, it was easy for Teru to become a prosecutor.

And, soon after he was hired, Light Yagami found the Death Note and 'Kira' began his reign.

Teru considered this to be the ulimate proof that his justice was correct. God had been watching him, he decided, and this was his reward - a God on Earth that would execute Teru's justice. A God who would eliminate evil and punish those who were wrong. This was the proof that God cared about him, him. This was the proof that he was chosen.

He began to go to pro-Kira rallies and events in order to further show his loyalty to God. He expected that God would find him and choose him, since Teru had never faltered. Who would be better than himself to serve God's will? All he expected was some small sign of recognition, some divine message to him.

What he ended up with was nothing.

Light Yagami chose another to use the Death Note, and Teru was abandoned. God never seemed to notice him or recognize him at all. He continued to attend rallies with increasing desperation, and did his best to try to somehow gain Kira's notice. With each new attempt, his hope faded a little more. Maybe he wasn't worthy. Maybe God had never chosen him. Maybe all the eliminations that had occured were just coincidence, nothing more.

A few months later, Kira simply vanished (after Near brought Light Yagami to justice, of course). The pace of eliminations slowed to a crawl (as the names that were written in advance took effect) and then stopped entirely. The already despondant Teru found that his hopes were crushed further. Not only had God ignored him, now he had left Teru entirely.

Slowly, the world returned to its former injust state. Mikami just resumed his career as a prosecutor, trying to hold onto his ideals of justice despite his disappointment.

And one day, around a year after Kira's disappearance, he woke up in a room he'd never seen before.


Teru is, on the surface, just a calm, quiet, man. He does his work efficiently and simply, is always perfectly neat, and follows a strict, simple routine every day, with no exceptions. He rarely talks to others, but he doesn't seem mean, just aloof and distant. He spends most of his free time at the gym or working on things he's taken home, and doesn't seem to care much for 'fun' activities.

At his core, though, Teru is falling apart. The sense of abandonment he's felt ever since Kira's disappearance has not faded, and actually increases each time he hears about a terrible criminal that Kira should've been there to deal with. He goes to church every Sunday and prays desperately for some sign that his God will someday return and someday notice him. He has a small shrine to Kira built in his room, consisting mostly of newspaper articles about the man, and sometimes he prays to that instead. He pushes himself to be increasingly just and increasingly pure. The OCD he's had since childhood has worsened in recent years, and his hands are oftentimes raw and bleeding from having been scrubbed too much - 'cleanliness is next to Godliness', after all.

He's starting to doubt himself and his justice, and he lacks self-confidence on a profound level, but he won't let that show to anyone, even himself. He continues to hope that if he keeps on the righteous path, maybe someday God will return and will accept Teru as his servant at last.


This is an RP journal for deathmask_rp. Mikami belongs to Takeshi Obata and Tsugumi Ohba. Mikami's player can be found at madelineusher. Userinfo layout designed by northswainglow, who if she wants me to take it down is free to tell me as much and I will do so. Sakujo sakujo sakujo.